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Signals going nowhere, receptors disappearing, everything incommunicado. For an instant, maybe at the penultimate instant, when you see my eyes roll back and my lashes flutter, when you sense that for both of us, like two travelers on the same train disembarking at different destinations, the end, though different, is near, you are almost kind. Your lips brush my cheek, your breath, rasping and hot, urges me to just let it go, to surrender, to let it happen, it's over. Like a lover, I can't help but thinking. That's how intimate this moment is, how personal your message. Death comes to me like a lover who'll take what it wants in any event. What more can I ask for? What more--My body relaxes and as you cum I die.{Life is full of surprises}--but surprise!--so is death. Who'd of thunk it? For certain, I thought the story would end with my letting go, with my last breath trapped in my chest as my face turned eggplant-purple, with my bladder emptying for the last time its contents into. With no more attention, I took a minute. At first I was pissed, but I collected myself quickly and decided it was for the best. I got up, tossed down a few bills for my drinks and walked off to the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face and took a moment in the mirror before heading back out. "You could have fucked up pretty bad there," I said to myself and splashed again.When I got out, he had already vacated his seat at the bar and left. I nodded my appreciation to the bartender and left a belated tip in the jar at the near corner. She smiled at me - I came in every week or so, and she seemed to recognize me - and then, much to my surprise, winked at me. "That's another load of trouble that I don't need," I muttered to myself.It took me only a few seconds after walking out the door to realize that her wink had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with what had happened earlier. As I walked out the door, a voice called from behind me "going somewhere?"It was him,.
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